I Swear To God Not Another One
by Ragehappy Mavin Fan
Summary: Of course Sebastian has managed to find the one thing that the Director was allergic to, and of course Joseph would take the heat for it. However, it did help that in the end Joseph was (sorta) rewarded for his kindness. Sebastian Castellanos/Joseph Oda


**Hey guys! Just to let you all know, my shit computer is now fixed and I can update a little more.**

 **Paring: Sebastian Castellanos/Joseph Oda**

 **Rating: T**

 **The Evil Within belongs to Bethesda Softworks.**

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"Put it back where you found it," at this point Joseph Oda lived a wild fucking life. No kidding at every corner Sebastian seemed to do something stupid, last time he decided to pull one of these stunts of his he got knocked out. He told him over and over that it didn't matter that the criminal was an old woman, anyone could kill them at anytime.

Did he listen? No, and because of that he got a concussion and caused the suspect to get away.

Now he was shoving another furball into his face and expected him to let them keep it.

"Its a cat Jojo! Its snowing outside and it might die in the cold!" Sebastian could act like a five year old when it suited him.

"Thats great Sebastian, but put it back," he said as he turned to his computer and kept working. His gloved fingers flew across the keyboard diligently, but he was stopped when the detective put the annoyed ball on his desk. The wet cat didn't look any happier than he did and Joseph just rubbed at his temples; trying and failing to get rid of the growing pressure behind the skin.

Why him?

"Look at it! I got it for you since Luna pisses you off sometimes."

"She chewed up my book collection! Then pissed on it for good measure!"

"She's a dog, what do you expect!"

"And cats just don't give a damn! At least Luna looked a little guilty!"

"After you got onto her about it!

"You would feel the same way if she chewed up all your condoms!" and Joseph smiled gleefully when Sebastian paled. Yeah, he went there; that damned man and his insatiable appetite for sex. They were one of the only things Sebastian yelled at Luna for trying to get into, plus it wouldn't be good for the dog. He really didn't want Luna to be hurt from them, even if she did piss him off.

At best she was much more tolerable than Sebastian and Lili.

Adding a cat to the mix would just completely fuck up everything and eventually they would have to get a much larger place to stay if this kept up. "Sebastian, put it back please," he said as he took the cat into his hands and set it on the ground.

"But he's cold out there and its gonna snow soon!"

"This might be someone else's cat!"

"Do you see a collar?"

"Do you see my face?" and Joseph was anything but amused. His face could have been chiseled in stone since that was how stern it looked and Sebastian pouted and hugged the cat to him. He was going to keep this cat if it was the last thing he did and damned be the fool who stood in his way; well he couldn't really damn Joseph. Though he could persuade him another way to keep the cat.

"Come on Jojo!"

"I swear to God not another one, I allowed the dog and I even pushed to adopt Lili," and Sebastian perked up a little before his hopes were squashed, "However you cannot expect me to keep another fucking pet!"

Joseph kinda regretted that since Sebastian looked like someone kicked his dog. but he had to be firm with him. Even if that face made his guilty for even considering not keeping the damned cat. Said cat, which was now on the ground, had made itself at home and began to scratch on one of the legs on Sebastian's desk. "Hey stop that shit," but like all cats it ignored him.

"Sebastian, fucking put it back."

"It's just a little kitten! It'll learn to stop!"

"I'll let it stay for the rest of the day, but when we leave it stays outside."

~.~.~.

"Is that a cat?"

"Yes, Kidman it's a cat."

"Can I kill it?"

"No, Sebastian was supposed to be watching it."

The damned cat had managed to get to the break room without Sebastian noticing and the damned thing pushed the coffee maker off the counter. Now there was hot coffee pooling on the floor and both Kidman and Joseph were thirsty. "Can I kill him?" she asked as she put her coffee mug in the sink.

"No, he needs to get rid of the cat before we can."

Kidman hissed as the cat swiped at her outstretched hand as she tried to pet it, "Fucking hell." The white piece of shit, as Joseph lovingly called it now, was actually a pretty cat with a horrible attitude. It kind of reminded him of Lili just a bit, but even Lili was nice on some days.

When she wasn't cussing at Sebastian, or doing her homework.

The cat hopped off the far part of the counter and ran out the door before either detectives could stop it. Joseph groaned and left the break room to follow it, and ran a gloved hand through his slicked back hair. Fucking cat causing him fucking problems and fucking Sebastian with his fucking cute pout wouldn't let his heart not fucking care.

Damn he really hated the fact that Sebastian had him wrapped around his finger.

Though with a face like that who could blame him!

So here he was opening door and asking people if they saw a white cat, then he heard a scream of rage coming from the director's office. He winced as he made his way to the door, and was ready for a verbal beatdown. Joseph knocked on the door three times and heard an angry 'Come in', he was mortified at the sight. The director was covered in spot and sneezed uncontrollably as she backed away from the cat on her desk.

The piece of shit was ripping up some paperwork on the desk while he cringed.

"Shit," was all he could say.

"I wan' it gon'," she said throughout her sneezes.

"Mrs. Campbell, I assure you-"

"No nic'ties! Ge' it out o' ge' out y'self!"

Yeah, he fucking hated the cat, and grabbed it despite it hissing and clawing at his face. He ran out of the office and left his boss to her sneezing before going to Sebastian, who was still in their office. "Get rid of it," he said as he shoved it towards Sebastian's face.

"But we aren't-"

"If we don't get rid of it then I'm going to be fired!"

"Wha?"

Joseph made Sebastian take the cat and grabbed his overcoat and keys, there was no way he could allow the cat to stay. "I want you to take it home, put it back, I don't care what happens to it anymore. Just do something. I'll take over the rest of your shift, so make sure Lili and Luna get something to eat okay?" he asked. Sebastian nodded forlornly and Joseph couldn't take it anymore.

Pulling down his boyfriend by the red tie he kissed him soundly on the lips.

"Look, even though another pet is too much, if it makes you happy. I'm happy," he said.

Sebastian gave him the biggest grin that made his day worthwhile, and gave Joseph one more kiss.

At least he had a good way to end a shitty day, though as Sebastian walked out of the room Joseph nearly dies.

It looks like that fucking cat was smirking, and as the older detective left all Joseph could say was.

"Dear God, not another asshole."

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 **If any of you notice the cat has not been named but it'll be left for the next Misadventure~!**

 **Ragehappy Mavin Fan**


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